Grief and Mourning

In: Philosophy and Psychology

Submitted By srdominick
Words 1761
Pages 8
Sarah. R. Dominick
Prof. Cherisse Flanagan
Developmental Psychology
April 30, 2013
Grief and Mourning Hello. My name is Sarah R. Dominick, and I am a nineteen-year-old, single, Caucasian American female. I was born in Denver, Colorado to a single mother of three, who was at that time in a lower-class, blue-collar, nonreligious state of being. While growing up, it was always very apparent, and still is apparent, that when our family loses someone, everyone suffers great loss. I have had three family members die throughout my lifetime so far, and every time this type of event takes place, our family immediately seeks each other out. Wherever the deceased happens to be, several relatives from across the country are there within two days of the occurrence. I take great pride in the fact that my family members are willing to go to such lengths to be with their family members when they most need it, and as immediately as possible. After the initial gathering of friends and family takes place, a ceremony is normally in the works. My experience is that our family is geared towards having a memorial service instead of a funeral service. Often we take advantage of the deceased’s hobbies or interests and incorporate them into the ceremony. For example, my great uncle David passed away five years ago. In order to celebrate his life and what he loved, almost everyone wore some type of Harley Davidson memorabilia because he enjoyed riding his motorcycle so much. After the ceremony, there is always some type of reception, usually held at the eldest family members home, where there is plenty of food to go around everyone five or six times. After the day of the memorial passes, everyone usually stays in town for another day or two, and inevitably they return home, wherever home for them may be. As I said before, I was not raised in a Christian home, so whenever occurrences of…...

Similar Documents

Unresloved Grief

...UNRESOLVED GRIEF AND CONTINUING BONDS: AN ATTACHMENT PERSPECTIVE Much of the contemporary bereavement literature on the continuing bond to the deceased (CB) has emphasized its adaptiveness and given limited attention to when it may be maladaptive. The attachment literature on disorganized– unresolved attachment classification in relation to loss, or ‘‘unresolved loss,’’ is informative in identifying CB expressions that are indicative of failure to integrate the death of a loved one. In this article, an important linkage is identified between a prominent indicator of unresolved loss that involves a lapse in the monitoring of reasoning implying disbelief that the person is dead and the clinical writings of J. Bowlby (1980) and V. D. Volkan (1981) on maladaptive variants of CB expression. The aim is to highlight the value of the attachment literature on unresolved loss in clarifying the conditions under which CB is likely to be maladaptive. There is increasing agreement among bereavement theorists and practitioners that an ongoing attachment to the deceased can be an integral part of successful adaptation to bereavement (Klass, Silverman, & Nickman, 1996). This position, commonly known as the ‘‘continuing bonds’’ perspective, is counter to that presented by Freud (1917=1957) in his classic work ‘‘Mourning and Melancholia,’’ in which he proposed that successful adaptation to loss required the bereaved to detach his or her psychic investment in the......

Words: 6138 - Pages: 25

Grief

...Grief: Kite Runner The author Khaled Hosseini expresses the theme guilt with a single phrase, "But, always, my mind returned to the alley. To Hassan's brown corduroy pants lying on the bricks" (Hosseini 91). The author expresses many themes throughout the book but grief is the most common and most captivating. But the feeling of guilt after committing our actions is what evokes the need to atone for the effects we have caused like Amir not acting when a friend was in need, Amir getting Sohrab, and Baba's betrayal to his friend Ali. Amir's story begins with an incident that haunted him throughout the book and this incident involved Hassan his best friend. He watched him get rapped and did nothing about it. He began thinking of one of Hassan's dreams with a monster in the lake, "There was a monster in the lake. It had grabbed Hassan by the ankles, dragged him to the murky bottom. I was that monster" (Hosseini 86). After a few years of suffering he went back to Afghanistan to find Hassan's son to help him forgive himself for his actions inability to act when they were children. This guilt he felt drove him to make things right with himself. Amir was reluctant at first to go into Kabul but he went through it due to Rahim Khan's death wish, for him to find and care for Sohrab. Amir witness the horror of the new war torn capital and the harsh treatment of the Taliban. But he never stopped from his mission to find Sohrab and he would do anything to get him back and......

Words: 570 - Pages: 3

Grief

...in life, but what about it leaves people to grieve the way they do, and affect the way they live their lives? “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” by Jonathan Safran Foer is a testament of what it means to be human, how people grieve, and how they are affected by their losses. Several characters in the book are going through some sort of grief through loss. Searching for answers that will probably never be found each of them is brought together and deal with their respective issues differently. Most of them spend years of their lives attempting to understand and find closure, but some don’t find any at all. No grief is greater than the other, no matter how miniscule some seem. It’s how they responded to the losses that defined what kind of person they are. Oskar Schell finds his own unique ways of dealing with his grief. Dealing with his issues in his own unique way, Oskar is doing his best to prevent the loss of his father from destroying his entire world. He uses the key he found, his inventions, and even self-harm to help grieve the untimely loss of his father. Using his journey to find what the key opens as way to cope with the grief of losing his father, Oskar struggles to understand why this is happening to him. One would suspect his intelligence would help play a factor in his grieving process, but it is shown that he is still very much a 9 year old kid to the core. Embarking on his journey he searches for not only what the key opens but also answers to what really......

Words: 1877 - Pages: 8

The Management of Grief

...The Management of Grief Radians College By: Anita Eric Instructor: Clyde Buzzard English 102 July 1, 2009 The Management of Grief “The Management of Grief” is a story written by Bharti Mukherjee. She was born in Calcutta, India on July 27, 1940. The story dramatizes one of the historical catastrophic events and also presents the complicated emotional response of those affected by it. On June 12, 1985 Air India Flight 182 crashed. All 329 passengers and all the crew members aboard were killed. The cause of an incident was a bomb explosion in the front luggage compartment. The debris fell into the North Atlantic Ocean, hundred and ten miles southwest of Ireland’s coast. About 90% of the passengers aboard were Indian Canadian. Among the killed were the husband and the two sons of Shaila Bhave who is a narrative voice of the story. Shaila Bhave is a protagonist of the story and is a narrator of the story. Her tone can be expressed as detached and understated but still full of hope. There is a regret, guilt and hope in her words and actions. Though she is shocked by the dreadful events she stays calm and does not openly express her pain. She even goes to the shore of the sea and sit there for hours in a hope that her loved ones are alive by miracle. Mostly in India according to Hindu tradition, the berieved family does not cook for a week. The food is being provided either by neighbours or family friends or is being prepared at berieved family’s house by visting......

Words: 644 - Pages: 3

Grief Counseling

...Grief Counseling, Counselor Competence, and a Christian Perspective Liberty University Abstract Grief is a common universal experience that everyone is faced with at some point in their lives. In today’s society, more people are turning to professional grief counselors for help dealing with his or her loss through acceptance in order to move forward in their lives. Different types of grief are discussed, as well as different strategies, interventions, and techniques used depending of the level of distress. Everyone handles grief differently and grieves in different ways for different lengths of time, requiring different counseling interventions. Grief counseling classes or training is not currently a part of curriculum guidelines, leaving the question “Are grief counselors competent to counsel grieving individuals?” This question is answered, and the benefit of trained grief counselors is explored. In a culturally diverse world, counselor consideration of culture is equally important in grief counseling. The paper ends with a Biblical and Christian Counselor perspective on grief counseling theories and practices. Grief Counseling, Counselor Competence, and a Christian Perspective Grief occurs in response to a loss including death, separation from a loved one, losing a job, kids leaving home, divorce, or a move. It is a natural response to death or loss. Ober, Granello, and Wheaton (2012) define grief as, “the emotion generated by an experience of...

Words: 1375 - Pages: 6

Grief and Loss

...Running head: GRIEF, LOSS AND FINDING MEANING AND PURPOSE Grief, Loss and Finding Meaning and Purpose Darren Pedro Grand Canyon University Psychology for Everyday Life PSY-100 Amanda Laster-Loftus May 21, 2014 Grief, Loss and Finding Meaning and Purpose While dealing with death is never an easy process, knowing how to handle the grieving process could prove to be beneficial to you and those around you. How we deal with our loss will play our in various emotions. In this paper we will take a look at the emotion a person goes through when dealing with death, how a person deals with death in their own way, and finding the meaning and purpose of dealing with grief. Death is never an easy subject to approach. When a person loses a loved one, various emotions come into factor. These emotions trigger feelings which otherwise would not be compromised under normal circumstances. However, the various emotions that a person deals with assist them in the mourning process. There are different stages of emotions a person deals with after having lost a loved one. It is perfectly normal to have experience these emotions and should go through each stage of these emotions. It is believed the common stages of coping with death are as follow: shock and disbelief, sadness, guilt, anger, fear and physical symptoms (Smith & Segal, 2014, p. 1). According to the article done by M. Smith and J. Segal; these emotions are onset early stages in the grieving process. They also stated......

Words: 801 - Pages: 4

Grief and Children

...Grief counseling and children: Ambiguous loss and its effects on children: Implications and interventions for school counselors. By K. Guidy, C. Simpson, T.Test, and C. Bloomfield. Texas A &M University Commerce. * In addition to emotions, children experience physical responses to a loss such as exhaustion, insomnia, headache, stomachaches, and regressive behaviors. * Just like adults children process grief in different and unique ways, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. * Grief work is essential in order for the individual to become actively engaged in their own life again. * Children need adequate information, reassurance, routine, validation, active listening, and adult models to demonstrate mourning behaviors constructively and appropriately. * When a child losses someone in their family they are grieving the loss of the systemic role in the family, the loss of a relationship, loss of an emotional connection and the fear of possibly losing someone else in their family. * May have self-blame, confusion, fear, isolation, or alone * Faced to deal with the changes in their new family systems, adjusting to the remaining parents new way of life may be difficult * SC should build meaningful relationships with the student as well as validate, understand, listen, and normalize their loss when the child is comfortable enough to share with them * You need to meet children and families where they are, support them with patience,......

Words: 798 - Pages: 4

Grief

...Naima Kariem Psy-100 November 1, 2015 Andrea Hogan The Five stages of grief explained by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross are: Denial, Anger, and Bargaining; Depression along with last stage has been Acceptance (Sánchez, 2007). Denial 1st stage is Denial. People who lost their loved ones would be quite shocked along with the thinking that there is no purpose of life. One would not be able to concentrate in their life along with losing their hope. By being in denial, one would be capable of coping and therefore making survival towards being feasible once again. Anger 2nd stage of Grief is Anger. In this stage, it is important to feel this way. Feeling angry is part of the healing process. One would feel angry over the littlest things, just the thought of someone that hurt the person you have lost. You can also be angry at yourself if you didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to your loved one. Holding on to anger can make a person feel sick, the type of sickness that feels like it will never go away, and the more you feel angry the more you feel sicker. We feel anger when we feel that maybe it should have been someone else instead of our loved ones. Anger is another feeling of intensity of our love. Bargaining After the anger stage, comes the bargaining stage. Before we lose our loved ones, we find ourselves do everything it takes to keep our loved ones here with us. We start bargaining with GOD, asking him to forgive us. We sometimes say things like “if you let my......

Words: 974 - Pages: 4

Stages of Grief

...Stages of Grief There are five stages of grief that a person goes through when a loved one passes away. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, we all go through these at our own pace and in our own way. In the written “Lament for a Son” we will go through the journey of a father’s loss of his son and how he goes through the stages of grief (Wolterstorff, 1987). Denial and isolation is the first stage of grief, in lament for a son it does not specifically discuss that he goes through specific denial. Denial is the first reaction most people have when learning of the death of a loved one (Axelrod, 2014). A person will just hear part of what the person is saying when they are being informed that a loved one as died, especially in an untimely death such as the one we read about a 25 year old dying while mountain climbing. This is usually the most temporary stage. Anger is the second stage and this when reality usually sets in and the pain and intense emotions arise (Grand Canyon University, 2015). Sometimes the anger is directed and the one who died sometimes it is at us for not spending enough time with the person who passed away. Some of the anger that was discussed was with how people try to console you, when they say “it’s really not so bad” or “I know how you are feeling (Wolterstorff, 1987).” Death is really that bad and there is no way anyone could know how another person is feeling in their own grief. Bargaining is the third stage of grief; this is......

Words: 851 - Pages: 4

Stages of Grief

...Stages of Grief Human is made of different emotions. It is impossible to live social life without emotions inhuman. Human often identifies negative and positive emotions. Happiness, joy and laughter are considered as positive emotions where anger, grief and pain are consider as negative emotions. Sometimes we do not realize that negative emotions can also guide us towards positive event in life. In Lament for a son authors replications are similar with this theory. These great thinker studies the death of Eric by indirectly explaining the five stages of grief. Wolterstorff experiences the pain and finds that no one can take his son place, but it is up to living family members how they can agree on death reality. His argument shows journey of suffering father changed to acquiescent person who accepts that endless knowledge and thinks that almighty does everything for a reason and individual must accept to understand life in better way. Before understanding dilemma of Wolterstorff and his idea about anguish, it is significant to analyzed and recognize five stages of grief which are described by Ross in a book of Death and Dying. Every individual passes through thru grieving stages during their life time but it is might not happened in same order of stages as describe by Ross. In the beginning, death of close loved one creates misbelief from reality, which is considered as denial and isolation stage according author Ross. Knowing the truth that the reality will give......

Words: 857 - Pages: 4

Stages of Grief

...Running head: STAGES OF GRIEF       1                    Healthy Grieving: A Comparative Analysis Author Grand Canyon University: HLT 310  Summer 19, 2016          2  HEALTHY GRIEVING: A COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS  Stages of Grief  Introduction  Here in this essay we examine the stages of grief as defined by the renowned thanatologist  Elizabeth Kübler­Ross. In conjunction with this review of grief we will consider the work of  Nicholas Wollsterstorff in his epic ​ Lament for a Son, ​ written to express his still lingering grief at  the loss of his son Eric, who tragically fell to his death while mountain­climbing at the age of 25.  As we study the process of grief, one must bear in mind that for people suffering grief a range of  emotions will come to the forefront­­"disbelief, sadness, anger, guilt, and self­reproach, panic,  anxiety, loneliness, listlessness, and apathy, shock, yearning, numbness, depersonalization"  (Bruce 2007) . Also, one must remember that grief is a natural response to losing a loved one.  While looking at grief’s lingering effects, we will also discover how Wolsterstorff managed to  find meaning, even joy, after the loss of his son.    Stages of the Grieving Process   All  people  experience  grief  and  mourn  at the loss of a loved one­­it is a universal  experience. To  understand  the  grieving  process better, it helps to focus on the five stages of grief as proposed by  Kübler­Ross  in  response  to ...

Words: 1354 - Pages: 6

Unresolved Grief

...UNRESOLVED GRIEF AND CONTINUING BONDS: AN ATTACHMENT PERSPECTIVE There is increasing agreement among bereavement theorists and practitioners that an ongoing attachment to the deceased can be an integral part of successful adaptation to bereavement. This position, commonly known as the ‘‘continuing bonds’’ perspective, is counter to that presented by Freud in his classic work ‘‘Mourning and Melancholia,’’ in which he proposed that successful adaptation to loss required the bereaved to detach his or her psychic investment in the deceased, or ‘‘relinquish’’ his or her attachment to the deceased, in order to complete the mourning process. According to Bowlby, healthy mourning occurs when an individual accepts ‘‘both that a change has occurred in his external world and that he is required to make corresponding changes in his internal, representational world and to reorganize, and perhaps reorient, his attachment behavior accordingly’’ Even among bereavement theorists who emphasize the role of CB in successful adaptation to bereavement, it is understood that the nature of the bond is different from what it was when the deceased was alive. Following the death, the connection is exclusively internal and no longer a bond involving the physical existence of the other. Accommodation to bereavement requires revising the mental schema of attachment to the deceased in accord with the reality of this new life situation Widows and widowers are willing for their feelings of......

Words: 1480 - Pages: 6

Grief and Loss

...material, or symbolic will affect us all, children too can face different levels and types of losses (Hooyman and Kramer, 2006; Viorist, 1986) cited in The Person Health and Wellbeing,(1st ed.,pp.211). There is a misconception in our society that children cannot understand or have little knowledge about death. But children of various ages and stages understand death and loss in different ways. (TRAUMA AND LOSS: Research and Interventions, Volume 3, Number 1, 2003) Jean Piaget cognitive stages of development in children are proved to be very important in children’s understanding of death, dying and grief. Childhood grief and development factors are interrelated: the age and stage of development of a child at the time of his or her parent’s death will strongly influence the ways in which the child reacts and adapts to the loss.( Garber, 1988, p. 272) The Death of a Parent: Healing Children’s Grief September( 3rd, 2009);Beth Patterson, MA, LP) A child Understanding of Death A child understanding of death occurs in the age 5-7, when according to Piaget’s theory child progress through preoperational stage of development to concrete-operational stage. (Kenyon 2001 cited in The Person Health and Well Being, 1st ed., pp272). A 5 year old child who is at preoperational stage, is egocentric, focuses on one thing at a time, inanimate things can be alive, magical thinking – Child believes that just thinking about something can make it happen, continues to learn about the world......

Words: 1285 - Pages: 6

Parental Grief

...Parental Grief Also, sometimes a parent's love makes them unable to let go. I've seen so many parents put their needs above their infant's because they just can't bear to suffer the grief of losing a child. It's heartbreaking when you can see parents in total denial and you know that the end will come one way or another but they just can't accept it. I don't know if that's the case here or not, but it's certainly a possibility. Parental Grief The theme of parental mourning has been a universal one throughout the centuries. In the literature on bereavement, writers repeat certain themes, thoughts, and reflections; they talk of the powerful and often conflicting emotions involved in "the pain of grief and the spiral of mourning; [they refer to] the heartbreak at the heart of things...grief's contradictions"; they speak of parents devastated by grief (Moffat 1992, xxiii). It is frequently said that the grief of bereaved parents is the most intense grief known. When a child dies, parents feel that a part of them has died, that a vital and core part of them has been ripped away. Bereaved parents indeed do feel that the death of their child is "the ultimate deprivation" (Arnold and Gemma 1994, 40). The grief caused by their child's death is not only painful but profoundly disorienting-children are not supposed to die. These parents are forced to confront an extremely painful and stressful paradox; they are faced with a situation in which they must deal both with the grief......

Words: 14595 - Pages: 59

Unresloved Grief

...UNRESOLVED GRIEF AND CONTINUING BONDS: AN ATTACHMENT PERSPECTIVE Much of the contemporary bereavement literature on the continuing bond to the deceased (CB) has emphasized its adaptiveness and given limited attention to when it may be maladaptive. The attachment literature on disorganized– unresolved attachment classification in relation to loss, or ‘‘unresolved loss,’’ is informative in identifying CB expressions that are indicative of failure to integrate the death of a loved one. In this article, an important linkage is identified between a prominent indicator of unresolved loss that involves a lapse in the monitoring of reasoning implying disbelief that the person is dead and the clinical writings of J. Bowlby (1980) and V. D. Volkan (1981) on maladaptive variants of CB expression. The aim is to highlight the value of the attachment literature on unresolved loss in clarifying the conditions under which CB is likely to be maladaptive. There is increasing agreement among bereavement theorists and practitioners that an ongoing attachment to the deceased can be an integral part of successful adaptation to bereavement (Klass, Silverman, & Nickman, 1996). This position, commonly known as the ‘‘continuing bonds’’ perspective, is counter to that presented by Freud (1917=1957) in his classic work ‘‘Mourning and Melancholia,’’ in which he proposed that successful adaptation to loss required the bereaved to detach his or her psychic investment in the......

Words: 6120 - Pages: 25